


If Turnips Were Bayonets, I'd Wear One by My Side

by stuffandnonsense



Series: Ripples on a Hellmouth: Further Tales [3]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Episode: s03e09 The Wish, Episode: s03e18 Earshot, Episode: s03e21 Graduation Day Part I, Episode: s03e22 Graduation Day Part II, F/M, Forbidden Love, Moral Dilemmas, Season/Series 03, Summer of Giles 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:33:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24698377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stuffandnonsense/pseuds/stuffandnonsense
Summary: Leading immediately on fromIf Wishes Were Horses, Anyanka knows something has to change in their relationship, and finally grants The Wish. But when she meets the Wishverse's version of Giles, he’s not at all what she expected.Like all of theFurther Tales, this can be read as a stand-alone ‘what if’, but theBalladstories are best read together.
Relationships: Rupert Giles/Anya Jenkins, Rupert Giles/Anyanka
Series: Ripples on a Hellmouth: Further Tales [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1411519
Comments: 16
Kudos: 12
Collections: Summer of Giles





	1. Chapter 1

Not for the first time, his Slayer was oblivious

“B-B-Buffy!” Giles squawked, hands slapping down on the desk.

He was dishevelled and sweaty, unable to tone down a sloppy, sated grin. But Buffy’s brain didn’t catch up to her eyes until Anyanka’s face popped up from between his knees, chin glossy and hair artfully mussed. Minx.

Anyanka licked her lips and said, “Haven’t you heard of knocking, little girl?”

Giles carefully did not laugh.

Buffy fled, mortified, slamming the door behind her and drawing the attention of the entire bloody library.

Then he glanced down and realised Anoushka was apoplectic.


	2. Chapter 2

She didn’t want to hate Buffy. For Rupert’s sake, she could be the bigger demon and overlook slayer-death-destruction-blah. On her best days, Anyanka could even manage sympathy for the poor little brat’s abandonment issues.

Other days, civility was hard work.

He thought she was jealous. And, okay, maybe a little: no one’s hair should be that shiny and lustrous. But that wasn’t the point. The point was that she tried.

So when Buffy waltzed straight into Rupert’s office without knocking AGAIN, the morning after Anyanka discovered his secret self-flagellation aid (a tear-stained hurricane scrapbook)…. It was all just too much.


	3. Chapter 3

“Why can’t some other schmuck be her watcher? You could just help with research … call for help whenever something exciting happens.”

Cue loud, messy shouting (her) and terse statements bursting with suppressed rage (him) in an endless repetition that everything was fine (or not) because … reasons.

Anyanka was too angry to argue properly. Rupert was so obviously conflicted and hurting because of seeing a vengeance demon while watching a slayer. He also completely refused to do anything about it.

_Argh!_

The she remembered that she was wearing her amulet and could go and do something about it. Herself. Right now.


	4. Chapter 4

The idea got better the more she thought about it. If he wasn’t a watcher, Rupert would drop all that hurricane-fuelled angst – normal humans barely noticed each other’s tragedies. He’d be safer, too. His precious slayer never protected his oh-so-fragile body. Anyanka’d had to learn healing spells for crying out loud!

She was rushing through the hallway, trying to remember _anything_ about Buffy’s social life to manipulate into a suitable wish. Suddenly:

“I wish Buffy Summers never came to Sunnydale.”

Anyanka skidded to a halt before an irate sophomore. Not vengeance, strictly speaking, but beggars couldn’t ride wishes….

“Wish granted!”


	5. Chapter 5

Having retrieved her amulet the second they arrived in Sunnydale-sans-slayer, Anyanka never would’ve noticed Nancy getting drained – except for who was draining her. Willow and one of those boys omni-panting after Buffy, despite girlfriends of their own.

Vampire-Willow was not only A1 best friend material but had the rat-bastard responsible for Rupert’s worst nightmares trussed up and ready to be tortured himself! It was a fabulous girls’ night in. Anyanka couldn’t wait to go and tell Rupert about it.

Well, not the torture part. Obviously.

It’s just he’d be so happy she was finally bonding with one of his kids.


	6. Chapter 6

Giles was scouring books for the amulet Oz saw snatched from Nancy’s neck just before she died. “Aha!” Vengeance demon. Of course it was. “An-yan-ka.”

As if summoned, she appeared out of thin air: “Hello, darling!” She pecked his cheek, then put the kettle on.

She didn’t look threatening, but Giles no longer trusted appearances. He attacked first – backhanding her across the room – then lunged for her amulet. Her power came from wishing; if he could only break it….

Later, spent and hopeless, he realised he’d never seen any blood. And yet her face was inexplicably wet throughout their struggle.


	7. Chapter 7

Anyanka was brawling. With _Rupert_.

No.

With some watcher who underestimated her.

This man never ate cursed candy and magicked a hurricane into being. His hands throttled, not caressed, and when he saw her, his eyes went round in horror instead of crinkling with joy. He would destroy her power over him, not nourish it.

No matter how much fun this dimension might be, Anoushka couldn’t survive here. Not now she understood how it felt to be loved wholly and absolutely, then to watch her love die.

She wiped the blood from her hands. That empty shell was _not_ Rupert.


	8. Chapter 8

The bright afternoon sunshine scraped her raw. She’d never undone a wish. Each one blossomed into a brave, beautiful, new world. Always.

Yet there was Nancy, alive and ranting. Completely oblivious to her near-death experience.

Anyanka walked straight out the door and went … home. It was days since she’d thought of Arashmaharr, weeks since going there. She sat on Rupert’s living room rug and drank Lagavulin straight from the bottle, in memory of simpler times.

Eventually, Rupert joined her on the floor.

But his conciliatory patter turned to gibbering terror when she said, dully, “We can’t go on like this.”


	9. Chapter 9

“I found your scrapbook.”

“Ah.”

“How can anyone be so miserable and just … hide it?”

“All too easily, with my upbringing.” He polished his glasses, blinking away tears.

“Do you think I don’t notice you agonising over my wishes?”

“My fault!” His voice cracked. “I must learn to manage.”

“Why won’t you ask me to stop?”

“I love you.”

She laughed, edge-of-hysteria style.

“How can I ask you to change who you are?” He finally braved looking, and found all the love and desperation he couldn’t show.

Cupping his cheek, she said, “You stupid, wonderful man. You’re worth changing for.”


	10. Chapter 10

They could both live with avenging war crimes. Anyanka told him every wish, learning his limits, and Rupert came to trust she’d stay within them. But he still kept their relationship absolutely separate from his vocation.

When Buffy acquired telepathy, Rupert’s two worlds collided. Suddenly, supporting his Slayer to date a vampire was the best decision he’d ever made.

For two weeks everything was awful. But once the dust settled, he realised that of course he could be a Watcher and love a vengeance demon. He’d been doing it for months.

And anyone who wouldn’t accept it could go hang.


	11. Epilogue

Buffy knocked and Anyanka tried. Willow was bewildered by overtures of friendship.

It worked.

Until Rupert wanted to stop an ascension. With hummus. So Anyanka teleported him somewhere else – somewhere safer.

“I’m not a child to be rescued!” he roared.

“Yes you are!” she screeched. More quietly, “I’m not ready to watch you die yet.”

“You could always help.”

She laughed, before realising he was serious. “I’ve told you everything I know.”

“With your strength, you could save so many.”

“But … _why_?”

Grinning, Giles kissed her.

He fought; she healed his wounds afterwards. He thought it was a good start.


End file.
